Archive for May, 2008

Sex in the City

May 31st, 2008

OK. Deep Breath. I don't care about "Sex in the City". Not even one little bit.

Would you ask this woman if she's seen "Sex in the City" with her galpals?

She's too busy trying to locate her favorite candy while wearing clip on sunglasses in the grocery store.

I am of the same concerns in life. And, look similar despite being twenty years younger. I wear sensible shoes. I have white/gray hair (curly, though, think Einstein) and wear black slacks 24/7. I've shrunk (length wise only) from 5'8'' to 5'6"" from osteoporosis but feel sure my curves are closer to the spinal column than anywhere else. My sunglasses are RayBan, however. My dash of sexiness. I have a ski parka but do not ski. A man asked me this winter if I'd like to go skiing with him and I said "Are you certified in CPR?"

Do I have what I need from the store? Now, that gets my attention. Cheez-Its. Perdue Roaster. Scallions. Eggs. Swiss Cheese. Chicken Wings--because when I make them, the world sings. Thank you, Emeril LaGasse. I started cooking when I was 57 and learned through the cooking shows on TV. Of course, "learned" is a relative term and I have noticed that people usually eat before they come to my house for dinner, but I am good company so they don't seem to mind.

I am a certified movie nut. But, you couldn't drag me to see "Sex In the City" with the promise of George Clooney sitting next to me, the only man who makes me remember south of the Mason Dixon line if you know what I mean.

Are you blushing? No, of course not, because most who read this are "Sex in the City" fans and that veiled remark would account for nothing on the Richter scale of suggestiveness.

An old boyfriend contacted me last year and suggested getting together. He said he could bring his bottle of Cialis, as if that would make the offer just plumb irresistible. People, when you have to ask someone out AND let them know you have a vial of prescription hydaulic drugs in your pocket, does that mean he's glad to see you?

I told him this:

"I am closer to Assisted Living than a bedroom with you."

He didn't call again.

So, there you have it. The Simple Life. Sarcastic. Single. And, though younger than this pictured woman, we are totally in synch. We are focused on the activities of daily living and unless a man propositions me with something other than the promise of an emergency room, broken bones and blue pills, sex is not part of the daily living activities. But, consider this: at least I don't have to worry about calling his doctor in the middle of the night with one of those pesky erections lasting more than four hours, either. Honestly, this political season is the only thing lasting longer than that.

I'm living proof that you can have fun in the city without hay rides. I'm going to see "Kung Fu Panda" next week.

©Pat Coakley 2008

PHOTOGRAPHS CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION

Nothing has me more anguished these days than the parade of ads on television for products like Viagra, Yaz, Cialis, and the like. They legitimately make me angry, and appreciative of the fact that the advertisement of pharmaceutical products is illegal on Canadian television. Want evidence that Big Pharmaceutical companies are putting the pursuit of profit ahead of the well-being of people? Take the results of a recent study by the Royal Society of Chemistry, in an article entitled "Drug adverts full of unsupported claims":

42 out of the 53 ads (nearly 80 per cent) the researchers examined made at least one claim the team couldn't substantiate. 27 made a claim that was not supported by the data source cited by the ad. A further 15 contained claims that couldn't be verified by the team - usually because the ads provided no sources of data to back up their claims, or made claims that could not be verified because drug firms either failed to respond to the researchers' requests for trial data, or refused to supply it.

Six out of nine pharmaceutical companies - including GlaxoSmithKline, Pfizer, AstraZeneca and Shire - did not reply to the researchers, while Wyeth refused to send trial data.

Here is the rest of the article, which I found today. On the bright side, this article validated my hatred for these commercials and these companies further. So please don't buy this crap, ever.

Cialis, the male erectile dysfunction solution, may need to rethink its target audience.  After maxing out the demographic of males with erectile dysfunction who own twin his and hers outdoor bathtubs, their current campaign no longer connects with anyone.  

Suggestions for new target audiences:

Men with erectile dysfunction with his and hers outdoor toilets, which some may consider outhouses.

Men with ED with his and her outdoor twin beds with protective railing.

Single men with ED.  The tagline will be: Get up and get out there.

The exhaustion of this target audience comes as a disappointment to the creative team in charge of the Cialis account–they were looking forward to unleashing their newest tagline for the current campaign:

When the time is right, go outside and get in separate dirty bathtubs with no plumbing.  Why not?  You’ve got four hours to kill.  Perhaps more.

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Akinyele - Super Freak

May 26th, 2008

Akinyele has had an interesting career. Akinyele hat eine interessante Karriere. Some people consider him a one-hit wonder. Einige Menschen betrachten ihn zu einem One-Hit Wunder. Some people say he never had an important impact on the game. Manche Leute sagen, er hatte nie einen wichtigen Einfluss auf das Spiel. Some people say he’s just a footnote in hip-hop but any real fan knows the truth. Manche Leute sagen, er ist nur eine Fußnote in Hip-Hop, aber keine echte Fan kennt die Wahrheit.

Akinyele was a beast on the mic and nobody can ever deny it. Akinyele war ein Tier an den MIC-und niemand kann bestreiten, jemals. He is obviously best known for his cult classic song “Put It In Ya Mouth” which heats up dance floors and bedrooms alike to this day. Sixshot.com caught up with the veteran MC to discuss touring strip clubs, why he makes the type of music he does, and of course sex. Er ist offensichtlich am besten bekannt für seinen Kult-Klassiker Song "Put It In Ya Mouth" erwärmt sich die Tanzflächen und Schlafzimmer gleichermaßen an diesem Tag. Sixshot.com aufgeholt mit dem Veteran MC diskutieren Tourenwagen-Strip-Clubs, warum er macht die Art der Musik, die er tut, und natürlich Sex.

What’s up AK? What\'s up AK? What you been up to? Was Sie schon bis zu?

Basically man I been doin’ everything, this, that, and the third. Grundsätzlich Mann, den ich seit Doin \'alles, dazu, und die dritte. I have been recording. Ich habe seit der Aufnahme. I record each and everyday of the week and it’s just fun. Ich jede und jeden Tag der Woche und es ist nur Spaß. I grew up doing that. Ich wuchs auf diese Weise vor. It’s like lyrical gymnastics man. Es ist wie lyrische Gymnastik Mannes. You just get in there and see what you can do. Du musst nur dort erhalten und sehen, was Sie tun können. Basically what I was always into was strip clubs and girls. Im Grunde, was ich war immer in Strip-Clubs war und Mädchen. I own a couple of strip clubs. Ich besitze ein paar Strip-Clubs. I go around from city to city every night on a strip tour just having fun man. Ich gehe um von Stadt zu Stadt jede Nacht auf einem Streifen Tour nur Spaß haben Menschen. I enjoy doing strip music because it’sa big part or hip-hop. Ich geniesse tun Strip Musik, weil wir haben es in Teil-oder Hip-Hop. Hip-hop is about being rebellious. Hip-Hop geht es um nicht aufmüpfig. I’m able to rebel against the music. Ich bin fähig zu rebellieren gegen die Musik.

You are one of the pioneers of that type of music. Sie sind einer der Pioniere dieser Art von Musik. Was that a conscious decision? War das eine bewusste Entscheidung?

I think it was conscious because everybody gets into music for a reason. Ich glaube, es war bewusst, weil bei jedem auftreten in Musik für einen Grund. One or two reasons and I think those reasons are pr Ein oder zwei Gründe, und ich denke, diese Gründe sind pr <span onmouseover="_tipon(this)" onmouseout="_tipoff()"><span class="google-src-text" style="direction: ltr; text-align: left">Your browser does not support inline frames or is currently configured not to display inline frames.</span> Ihr Browser unterstützt keine Inline-Frames oder ist zurzeit so konfiguriert, dass keine Inline-Frames anzeigen.</span> etty much money and bitches. Etty viel Geld und Hündinnen. (Laughs) From my first album I was thinking in that aspect of it. (Lacht) Von meinem ersten Album war ich denke in diesem Aspekt davon. One thing led to another and I just went full blown with it. Eines führte zum anderen und ich ging mit voller geblasen. It was a whole different world for me. Es war eine ganz andere Welt für mich.

How do the women respond to that type of content? Wie wirken sich die Frauen reagieren auf diese Art von Inhalten?

It’s wild man because the women really identify with it. It\'s wilde Mann, weil die Frauen wirklich mit ihr identifizieren. We all come from sex and it’s in the back of everybody’s mind. Wir alle kommen aus Sex und es ist auf der Rückseite jeder seinen Geist. You gotta remember that I see women of all colors every single day. Man muss daran erinnern, dass ich sehe, Frauen aller Farben an jedem einzelnen Tag. When you think about your parent having sex you’re thinking your father is a cool guy and your mother is a woman so they’re probably making slow love. Wenn Sie denken über Ihre Muttergesellschaft, die Sex Sie jetzt denkt, dein Vater ist ein cooler Typ und Ihre Mutter ist eine Frau, so sind sie wahrscheinlich zu langsam Liebe. Nobody wants to picture their father pounding the shit out of their mother but that’s what happens and that’s part of life. Niemand will Bild ihres Vaters, stampfenden die Scheiße aus ihrer Mutter, aber das ist, was passiert, und das ist Teil des Lebens. We could go back to “Put It In Ya Mouth” and it’s something every woman can relate to because it’s something every woman has done. Wir könnten gehen zurück zu "Put It In Ya Mouth" und es ist etwas, was jede Frau kann sich auf, weil es jede Frau etwas getan hat. It’s something every man has done. Es ist etwas, was jeder Mensch getan hat. You gotta really look at it. You gotta wirklich auf ihn achten. Like 10 outta 10 your mother has probably sucked dick before. Wie die 10 outta 10 Ihre Mutter hat wahrscheinlich gelutscht dick vor.

So you feel like you’re relating to everybody then? Also fühlen Sie sich wie Sie in Bezug auf alle dann?

It relates to everybody. Es bezieht sich auf alle. We’re number two in London right now with a song called "Stripper Call". Wir sind die Nummer zwei in London gleich mit einem Song namens "Stripper Call". I don’t know if people just love the song but I know they can relate. Ich weiß nicht, ob die Menschen lieben den Song, aber ich weiß, sie kann sich beziehen. I could be on the bill in Germany or France with a couple dude that you can’t even pronounce their name and it’s not that we have so much in common it’s that people can identify with the music I’m doing. Ich könnte auf der Rechnung in Deutschland oder Frankreich mit ein paar dude, dass man nicht einmal ihren Namen aussprechen, und es ist nicht so, dass wir so viel gemein ist es, dass die Menschen identifizieren können mit der Musik ich mache.

Going back to “Put It In Ya Mouth” which has a spot in the hip-hop history books, did you have any idea that it was going to be such a classic joint? Going back to "Put It In Ya Mouth", hat einen Platz im Hip-Hop-Geschichte Büchern, haben Sie eine Idee haben, dass es werde eine solche gemeinsame klassischen?

I’d love to sit here and say that I knew but I really felt it in my heart and it’s like that with every song that I do. Ich würde gerne hier sitzen und sagen, dass ich wusste, aber ich empfand es wirklich in meinem Herzen, und es ist wie es ist mit jedem Lied, das ich mache. You feel like everything you make is gonna be classic. Du fühlst dich wie alles, was Sie machen, ist Gonna Be Klassiker. You think Kanye got an ego? Du denkst, Kanye bekam ein Ego? You should see me. Sie sollten mich sehen. I think everything I do is classic. Ich denke, alles, was ich tue, Klassiker. You’re just fortunate when you think it’s classic and everybody else is right there with you. Du bist nur glücklich, wenn man bedenkt, ist es klassische und alle anderen ist richtig, es mit Ihnen. The next best thing to being the biggest fucking star in the world is having a classic song that’s going to live on forever and ever. Die zweitbeste Lösung ist nicht nur der größte fucking Stern in der Welt ist, ein klassisches Lied, das geht zu leben in Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit. It’ll out live everybody else. Es werde aus Live-alle anderen auch.

Back in the day a 16 or 17-year-old kid didn’t even understand the song. Zurück in den Tag zu einem 16 oder 17-jährige Kind nicht einmal verstehen, das Lied. All he knew was that he was trying to get this girl to suck his dick and maybe this song would help here understand what he’s tryna have done tonight. Alles, was er wusste, war, dass er versuchen, sich diese Mädchen zu saugen seinem Schwanz und vielleicht dieses Lied würde hier helfen, zu verstehen, was er getan haben tryna heute abend. It was a statement and it was a rebellious statement. Es war eine Erklärung, und es war eine rebellische Erklärung.

Now Ak, let me ask you, you’ve seen a lot in this game. Nun AK, möchte ich Sie bitten, den du gesehen hast, eine Menge in diesem Spiel. Over the years would you say it’s changed for the better or for the worse? Im Laufe der Jahre würden Sie sagen, es ist Veränderung zum Besseren oder zum Schlechteren?

I think it’s changed for the better because artists are being taken seriously monetarily. Ich denke, es ist zum Besseren verändert, weil Künstler ernst genommen werden monetär. It’sa lot more serious now when it comes to money. Es ist eine viel ernstere jetzt, wenn es um Geld. If you look at the dudes who were playing basketball back in the day they probably hate the Allen Iversons and the Kobes for the simple fact that they’re making so much money and they put the effort. Wenn man sich die dudes, spielten Basketball zurück in den Tag, an dem sie wahrscheinlich hassen die Allen Iversons und die Kobes für die einfache Tatsache, dass sie die so viel Geld, und sie setzen die Anstrengung. You could make a career out of rapping now. Sie können sich eine Karriere aus rappt jetzt. When I was coming up if I had told a teacher that I wanted to be a rapper she probably would have looked at me like I was crazy but today a teacher would have to at least entertain that idea because it’s been done and people have succeeded. Als ich kam, wenn ich gesagt hatte, dass ein Lehrer wollte ich ein Rapper sie wahrscheinlich hätte blickte mich wie verrückt war ich aber heute ein Lehrer müssten zumindest unterhalten diese Idee, denn es hat sich getan und die Menschen haben gelungen ist. If you master whatever it is that you’re doing you will have longevity and you will get taken serious in terms of money. Wenn Sie beherrschen was auch immer du tust haben Sie Langlebigkeit und Sie erhalten dann ernst genommen in Form von Geld. Back then it was a joke. Damals war es ein Witz.

You’ve done a lot in the game Ak. Sie haben eine Menge getan im Spiel Ak. What would you say is your legacy in hip-hop? Was würden Sie sagen, ist Ihr Erbe im Hip-Hop?

I think the legacy I’m laving in hip-hop is raw, uncut, unadulterated, let it all hang out hip-hop. Ich denke, das Erbe Ich bin laving in Hip-Hop ist roh, ungeschnitten, unverfälschte, lassen Sie ihn alle hängen aus Hip-Hop. It’sa niche that I made for myself man. Es ist eine Nische, dass ich für mich selbst Mensch. It’s puberty, we’re all gonna go through it. Es ist der Pubertät, wir sind alle gonna go durch. My legacy is telling people to have fun. Mein Erbe ist bezeichnend, dass die Menschen Spaß haben. If you got something on your mind then say it. Wenn Sie etwas auf dem Herzen, dann sagen sie. When I make these records I try to make them classic, tasteful, and disrespectful all at once, tastefully disrespectful. Wenn ich diese Aufzeichnungen ich versuche, sie klassische, geschmackvolle, respektlos und auf einmal, geschmackvoll respektlos. That’s my whole thing with hip-hop man just to have fun and provoke thought. Snoop Dogg was spitting that gangsta shit but he would sing shit and it was tasteful and melodic. Das ist meine ganze Sache mit Hip-Hop-Mann nur Spaß zu haben und provozieren gedacht. Snoop Dogg wurde das Spucken Gangsta Scheiße, aber er würde singen Scheiße, und es war geschmackvoll und melodisch. They’ll be buggin\' but it’s going into you smooth like heroin. Sie werden buggin ", sondern es geht in Ihnen glatt wie Heroin. I\'m doper than heroin so take my name in vein. Ich bin als Doper Heroin nehmen, damit mein Name in Vene. That’s what I want people to do. Das war\'s, was ich will Menschen zu tun. It’s like Akinyele is a whole movement, Akinyele and sex. Es ist wie Akinyele es eine ganze Bewegung, Akinyele und Geschlecht. If a song sounds too nice then there has to be a problem. Wenn ein Lied klingt zu schön, dann muss es ein Problem. You need that shock value. Sie benötigen das Shock Value.

Aight man so tell us what’s next for you. Aight Mann, so sagen sie uns, was kommt als nächstes für Sie.

I’m just continuing to do what I been doing which is making songs, staying on the road touring city to city with all the girls and just enjoying life. Ich bin nur weiterhin tun, was ich mache das macht Lieder, bleiben auf dem Weg Tourenwagen Stadt zu Stadt mit all den Mädchen und nur das Leben genießen. I’m gonna ride it ‘til the wheels fall off. Ich bin es gonna ride \'til die Räder fallen ab. I don’t wanna predict that I’m gonna do this or I’m gonna do that. Ich möchte nicht voraussagen, dass ich diese Gonna Do oder ich bin gonna do that. Every New Years Eve people are claiming this is their year. Jeder New Years Eve Menschen behaupten, dies ist ihr Jahr. This is my life and I’m having fun. Das ist mein Leben, und ich bin mir Spaß zu haben. I also wanna shout out Nas , that’s my nigga. Ich möchte auch Shout Out NAS, das ist mein Nigga.

You got a lot of fans Ak, what do you wanna say to them? Sie haben eine Menge Fans AK, was willst du zu sagen?

Take Viagra, have sick sex, and keep the reproduction going. Nehmen Sie Viagra, Sex haben, krank, und halten Sie die Fortpflanzung geht. People ask me sometime why I just went full on with the sex rap. Die Leute fragen mich manchmal, warum ich nur ging voll in die Sex mit Rap. My other style was the metaphors. Meine anderen Stil war der Metaphern. I was one of the best doing that pound for pound and line for line. Ich war einer der besten tun, dass Pfund für Pfund und Zeile für Zeile. I never went back to it because nobody excited me enough to go back to it but I see a lot of bitches that excite me. Ich ging nie wieder zu ihm zurückkehren, weil mir niemand aufgeregt genug, um zurück zu gehen, aber ich sehe eine Menge Hündinnen, begeistern mich. I can write this shit all night and day man. Ich kann diese Scheiße die ganze Nacht und den Tag der Mensch. (Laughs). (Lacht).

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